Money and marriage is always tricky. Who spends and on what. Who makes what. A conversation about money can get heated and can spin out of control in a second.

Take me for example. I married a man expecting that he was going to be a provider. Halfway into the marriage he became unemployed/ self employed. Really it was the same thing. He basically contributed nothing for 10 years! I expected that it was a temporary setback and worked my hardest to pick up the slack.

What a dummy I am. Ten years later and he feels totally justified in living off the business I created. He considers himself successful and entitled to an early retirement.

Legally, I can subject him to a career analysis and the court can assign an amount of money he is capable of earning. I frankly don’t understand why he is so unwilling to try to contribute. I don’t think I could ever be that person. Is it fear of flying?

At the end of the day the whole money discussion so frequently is about power. Who makes what and how do you determine how it is spent? I’d like to start with a financial contribution from my spouse. That seems totally reasonable to me!