When relationships fail, there is a natural inclination to keep revisiting the scene of the accident. I myself spend much of the time I should be sleeping thinking about WHAT THE *%#> HAPPENED? It is natural. As humans we are driven to rectify our experiences so that they make sense.

The problem is that everyone has a wildly different perception of each experience. Each individual has his own filter and processes information differently. The result is a wide variation of even what transpired in a single argument. “I never said that” is common response when discussing an argument. Do people not hear what they say? Or do people misinterpret what they hear? Maybe it is both. Everyone filters their experiences to such a great degree that without a tape recorder or video camera it would be impossible to figure out what happened with any accuracy.

Maybe you have heard the saying “the majority of communication is miscommunication”.  Given the vast opportunity for the failure of communication misunderstandings just seem to happen. You can try and try to work at a relationship to no avail. I have tried to problem solve and figure it out to the best of my ability. Sometimes relationships just fall apart anyway and you have to pick your tent up and move down the road.

No amount of understanding will change it. You just have to let go, breath in and breath out and move on. Sad.